God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
