Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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