She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
