This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
