was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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