You're a womanizer and a bitch.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
