dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize