I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
