ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
