I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
