Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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