He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Enjoy the penises
The adults are the big ones right?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
