Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
