I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
