I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
wanna go halves on a baby?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
