I hate your face
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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