physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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