My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
They have beer where we have blood.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
