Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
