I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize