I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
