she woke up with a sticky ear
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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