But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
