i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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