i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
