Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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