We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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