Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
