well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
