Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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