She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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