At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
