I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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