you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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