i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
