marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he wants to bone in the snuggie
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
