i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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