I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
