I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
