Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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