i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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