There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
