just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
that is very illegal...i love you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
