sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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