yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
