Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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