The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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