your room smells of hookers.
And success
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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