i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize