it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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