I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
