I cockslap morals
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
