Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And then my night got REAL pukey
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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