you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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