DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
