Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
