ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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