i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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