Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
