So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
